When your worst fears come true.

I am not able to discuss the what’s and why’s of my personal crises. But what do you do when your worst fears come true? How do you cope? How do you keep yourself from lashing out or acting in a self-destructive way?

First, take a deep breath. Go to your first line of coping skills. Separate yourself from the situation that you have found yourself in the best you can. I mean physically separate yourself if you have to. Use skills such as breathing techniques, meditation, if necessary take your anxiety medications, if you are given them, as they are prescribed.  You need calm and time to focus on the problem at hand and how best to cope with it.

Second, Seek out someone trusted to talk to. Don’t be alone if you can. Sometimes the worst thing that can be done is to shut down and kick everyone out. Be very cautious who you choose to share your pain with. You don’t want anyone negative. You need a listener, not someone to fix your life. Too often we, as caring people, want to fix others when they are suffering. That is the worst thing that you can do. It could even be more damaging if you are careless with your advice.

Third, avoid drugs and alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant and will drive you further down into the pit of despair. Drugs, while they numb you for a short time, offer no long term solutions to your problems and only lead to destruction.

Fourth, don’t make any major decisions or purchases while you are coping. Now is definitely not the time to quit your job, buy a sports car, and move to Miami. Be very careful and thoughtful about any large decision in your life if you are going through a crises. It is not the best time when there is so much going on in your head and heart.

There is more to coping with a crises than just this. But it’s a start.

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