Sometimes, actually most often times, I jump into something without thinking about the end game. What is my long term goal with this en-devour? Like start writing a book before I know how it ends. Or in this case, write for this blog not knowing what I myself wanted to write about.
Plus there are restrictions about what I can write about. These are self-imposed restrictions out of respect of other’s privacy or things I am not allowed to talk about. So, what am I going to focus my blog on? Where are we going with this?
I need to talk about mental illness, mental health, and my journey with bipolar, Borderline PD, PTSD, and a slew of other diagnosis. Its a mess what the doctors in the VA system have done with me. In some cases it is a miracle that the doctor did not outright kill me with a medication overdose or contraindication.
I need to talk about my life as far as I am allowed to. Really, that would be my dating life that I would share, some about raising kids while suffering from mental illness, and how my mental illness has directly impacted my life. Out of privacy issues of others I will have to hold a bit back. But this is done out of love and respect for that person, not that I think they will beat me up.
The non-personal stuff is a bit more straight forward. Suicide, drug abuse/use, mental stability, medications, etc. will be talked about as well with fewer restrictions.
Overall, I want to document my journey with my trunk full of mental illnesses. I need the outlet and somewhere that I can vent my feelings freely (or as freely as I am allowed). I do not chafe at the restrictions that I have placed on myself. I see them more as boundaries that will keep me out of trouble as long as I stay away from them.